“Mirror, mirror on the wall” – Exercise and Self Worth

My friend, Linda Wolf (@insaneserene), recently posted a blog post on receiving compliments.

It was this post that prompted me to think about the benefits of the Mirror Exercise and this is what got me musing…

For those who are not aware of the mirror exercise, it is a simple yet powerful exercise that helps build self esteem.

Is it about “blowing your own trumpet”? Yes and no. Depends how you see it.

Is it good or bad? Again it depends on the context. Bragging in front of others might be a different matter and something which put people off. People who brag in front of others perhaps have inflated self esteem and the mirror exercise may not be for them.

The purpose of the mirror exercise is to replace our normal negative self talk with positive self affirming self talk. It also allows us to feel more comfortable with receiving compliments.

We are not trained to acknowledge ourselves. In fact we are mostly trained to do the opposite. Most of us start of not knowing how to respond when we receive a genuine compliment. It feels uncomfortable and we may murmur a quick “thank you” and not be fully convinced that we actually deserved the praise/ mention. There could be various reasons for the same and the most common one is feelings of low self worth. By doing the mirror exercise on a daily basis for at least 4 weeks we can develop a healthy habit; allow ourselves to accept compliments, gracefully and authentically.

What do I need to do?

All you need to do is to place yourself in front of a mirror and gaze into the eyes of the person in the mirror – You! While maintaining eye contact with this person, acknowledge yourself for your achievements that day. Start by saying your name, followed by appreciating yourself out loud.  It could be to do with work, home, a personal achievement like making it to the gym, making someone feel valued or even something trivial.

In due time, this trains your brain to start looking for “exceptions” i.e. when you actually do something good or something that made you feel good. It all adds up and you gradually find yourself looking less and less for other people’s approval and more and more approving of self.

Yes, most people struggle with this exercise. I did too. It seemed bizarre! But if you just hang in there and try it out, you will find that it gets easier.

The best part is the ending! End by saying – “I love you” and gaze in the other person’s eyes at least for 30 seconds after that. Believe me – even that 30 seconds will seem like eternity. People can have all sorts of unpleasant experiences when they say that but it will pass after a few days of doing the exercise.

In my comments to Linda’s post I mentioned that I got some “amazing results” by doing the mirror exercise for the last 4 weeks and continuing to do so. The amazing results are that I am now more accepting of myself; love myself more and also more comfortable with simply being me.

What exercises do you do that help you build up your sense of self worth? What about sharing and exchanging notes to help the people who stumble across this post?

Tagged as: inspiration, love, mirror exercise, self worth