How to Rise Above Negativity!

When I checked my emails the other day, I saw a thread of messages from some colleagues, about a work related issue. As I read them I could feel myself getting tensed by the amount of negativity in the content of the messages.

I’ve lost count of the number of meetings I have attended where opinions and negative nonconstructive remarks got exchanged routinely. I assume most of you can relate to this in some form or another…

People suffering from mental health conditions like anxiety disorder and clinical depression commonly present with negative cognitive patterns as part of their illness. These usually fade away along with recovery from an illness episode.

We can more easily avoid negativity coming from people who we only meet occasionally. But what if that ‘circle of negativity’ was at home or had embedded at your work place and you’ve had to face it every day? How easily can you avoid it then?

Let us begin by looking at 3 key reasons why we need to stop feeding negativity.

1. Negativity can waste valuable time and resources

Picture this – you go to work with an intention of completing your tasks for the day. You find your colleagues discussing about a change introduced recently by management. You somehow get drawn into the debate. If not mindful you could get caught up in an endless discussion and waste your valuable time resource.

Similarly gossiping, arguing your case for the sake of a “hard to please” ego not only wastes time but also reduces productivity.

2. A negative mindset affects your health, negatively!

A negative mindset has an overall negative health outcome. It makes one more prone to the harmful effects of stress, releasing more stress hormones and reducing endorphins (the so-called “feel-good” hormones). Scientific evidence shows that a negative attitude can adversely affect our immune system, making us prone to infections and other physical and psychological ailments.

Individuals with a habitually negative disposition could have a higher risk of memory and mental health problems, including depression compared to people with a positive disposition and outlook on life.

3. Focusing on the negative only contributes to its power

Negativity has a growing ground. Just like one rotten apple in the basket can spoil the rest a dominating, firmly held negative belief can influence your thoughts and state in a way that do not serve you – you risk becoming quite negative and cynical.

You fail to communicate effectively and trivial things seem to matter more than they should. You soon become part of the problem itself rather than the solution…

Why do we feed negativity then?

Adopting a negative stance does not take much commitment (although energy can get expended), whereas to think and behave in a positive way requires some persistence and effort.

A fear of ‘loss’ can drive negativity. Non-fulfilment of our needs could also feed negativity, for instance a lack of loving or meaningful relationships, ill-health, ongoing stress, tiredness, exhaustion and so on.

We may get into a “negative state” from time to time, due to external stresses or internal conflict. Some people with past negative experiences may consciously or “sub-consciously” expect more of the same, thereby making ‘negativity’ a conditioned but unhealthy response.

10 ways of addressing negativity in your life.

1. Cultivate an open and positive mindset

People who project negativity on a consistent basis typically have low self-esteem. They feel badly about themselves, and their negativity could reflect those feelings.

Adopting an open mindset should enable you to listen non-judgementally, practice genuine empathy, and to appreciate the viewpoint of others. You do not have to share their views or try to solve their problems for them – only encourage them to look for solutions themselves. Keep a distance from the negative emotions of others if you want to help them in a meaningful way.

Research has shown that our expectations of people can influence their behaviour and vice versa (read this post). When we label someone as “negative”, we expect them to complain, be pessimistic and focus on problems most of the time. This expectation or prediction often comes true.

Would it help to say that no such thing as a “negative person” exists, only a person with negative tendencies?

2. Infuse energy and enthusiasm

When you look after yourself well, with passion for your life, the vibrant energy will sooner or later rub off on those around you. Positive energy vibes can have a contagious effect!

3. Use language mindfully

Try repeating the following out loud (with emotion for impact)

“I feel crap”

“This food is disgusting!”

“This traffic jam is doing my head in”

“This is absolutely appalling. How dare she complain to the boss about me?”

Now try these ones instead-

“I don’t feel very good”

“This food doesn’t taste nice”

“This traffic jam is quite annoying”

“This doesn’t feel right. I wonder what made her complain to the boss about me.”

How we frame our sentences and the words we use on a regular basis have a big role to play in either feeding or defusing negativity. Words like always, never, everything, everybody, nothing, nobody, etc.can easily distort reality. So choose your words deliberately and mindfully.

4. Stop blaming others (and yourself)

You need to accept that you cannot control external events and that no one can make you feel a certain way – only you can! No matter how bad the situation, no amount of blaming, cynicism or back-lashing will change it. Seek to learn and experience something positive from it, no matter what.

5. Positively energise your thoughts!

Negative thoughts and accompanying emotions can wreak havoc when allowed to run their free course. Rather than resisting them, first accept their presence.  Ask yourself  “do they serve me and my loved ones?” Your body will send out vibes.  If these make you feel uneasy, remind yourself of the consequences of holding on to these.  Make a conscious decision to discard and get rid of them for good. Discarding them will create an empty space in your mind. Fill it with positive and happy thoughts, and charge these up with physical and emotional energy. This will make you feel positively energised!

6. Have a break

Mental exhaustion can challenge you from staying focused and from maintaining a positive attitude. Noises from the outside world compounded by your own value judgements, inner dialogues and “things to do” lists can distract you.

Give your body and mind the break it deserves even if only for 5 minutes every hour or so.  This will not only help you re-orient yourself to the tasks that need completing but also enable you to give your best effort!

7. Choose healthy habits and a healthy lifestyle

Lead a healthy lifestyle and pay particular attention to exercising your body and mind. Among other things practice gratefulness on a daily basis, read inspirational stories, listen to music, connect with your loved ones, give time to your children, participate in sporting activities and reach out to help others in need.

8. Resourcefulness

Resourcefulness is a state of mind from where creative energy flows. It taps into your inner being and aligns you with your core values. When you try hard to resist negativity, you only manifest more tension and end up in a non-resourceful state. Accept its presence and do not blame yourself.

Try out ways to get into a resourceful state. Make a list of things, people or activities that evoke a good feeling in you – make a note of these in your personal journal.  Schedule these positive triggers in your daily routine, indulge in them and reap the benefits!

9. Expect ‘negativity’ to have a short life span

Remember, if you remain passive negativity will take you for a joyless ride. It is not enough just to think positive. You also need to shake off the stubborn, negative stuff that you might have collected, out of your mind. Create an expectation that negativity will move on and so it will.

10. Have you addressed your needs?

We all have needs – physical, emotional, spiritual needs and so on. Turn your attention to them and listen to your needs. Get your needs fulfiled and you will experience a zest in life!

Finally get inspired by successful and positive people and study how they deal with negativity. “Success leaves clues”.

I have penned down some of my thoughts here. Hope to hear some of your ideas and experience around handling negativity…

Tagged as: Anxiety disorder, attitude, Disorders, Emotion, Health, Illness, inspiration, Major depressive disorder, mental health, mindful, mindfulness, psychiatry, Relationships, Stress